I'm sorry, I thought we were quoting Highlander (appelezmoi_coco) wrote,
I'm sorry, I thought we were quoting Highlander

Cuddy_Fest #234

Title: The Seduction of Lisa Cuddy: Days 1-2

Author: Coco (appelezmoi_coco)
Rating PG
Prompt: 234: Julie Whitner asks Cuddy out. She says yes, just because House hears about it and mocks her endlessly. But then she actually enjoys herself...
Summary: …refer to prompt. It’s pretty much exactly the prompt.
Disclaimer: I don’t own House :(
Spoilers: 3x13 Needle in a Haystack. (Just to know who Julie Whitner actually is)

Day One

"You're close with Cuddy, right?" Whitner asked House as he grabbed a couple of beakers off the shelf (he was going to do shots with Wilson).

"Huh?" He was surprised that she was talking to him.

"Cuddy." Whitner repeated, "you and she are close, right?"

House shrugged with his usual nonchalance, "I guess."

House would think that she'd talk to Wilson about Cuddy. He'd spent more time with her as of late but then he remembered that Wilson and Whitner had gotten into it about a month back. (She'd refused to admit one of his cancer patients into one of her studies and the patient ended up dying a week later. He wasn't qualified for the study and she wasn't sorry she didn't admit him. But she did send a bouquet of flowers to the funeral anonymously.)

If she was talking to him about Cuddy she must be desperate.

"Yeah, we're close." He amended his earlier disinterest with clearly piqued curiosity.

Whitner stayed quiet for a moment or two, mentally debating whether to ask him or not but in the end decided she would.

"Do you think she'd ever go out with me?"

He nearly dropped the beakers he was holding and they would've been on a race to the floor with his jaw, which was hanging so far open he was sure that it must have been at least half-way to the floor.

"So... you weren't kidding... cuddy's d-cups... the comment... you're... serious?"

"That pre-pubescent fascination with lesbians is really obnoxious."


"Okay. Forget it." Whitner rolled her eyes, sorry she'd even brought it up, turning away and back to her experiments.

"She'd totally go out on a date with you."


"Wilson!" He busted into the office, slamming the door behind him.

"Where are the beakers?" Wilson asked, pulling out the bottle of (slightly watered down) Scotch he kept in his desk.

"Forget the beakers, forget alcohol." He was a little out of breath, he would have run the whole way back if he could have. "Do you remember that night we were drunk and we discussed how cool it would be if Cuddy started dating a woman. And you denied it when you were sober but I knew you still thought it would be amazing."

"Um... yeah, I guess I remember that. Is there a logical progression to this story?"

"Whitner" (Wilson frowned inwardly) "just asked me if Cuddy would go on a date with her."

Wilson's eyes widened a little. "You're kidding."

"I'm completely serious." House nodded, "and I told her yes."

"She won't go out with her." Wilson scoffed.

"She will if I give her a hard enough time about it."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "is Cuddy having a lesbian experience important enough to you to torture her to get her to do it?"



“Someone’s got a crush on you.” House grinned inanely walking into Cuddy’s office.

“If it’s Perkins, I already know.” She said with disinterest, not bothering to look up at him.

“Nope.” He grinned even wider, “it’s not Perkins. …please don’t ever date Perkins. I’d lose what little respect for you I still have.”

The playful undertones in his voice were hard to detect but someone who knew House well recognized them, preventing her from taking any offense to, well, anything he says to her.

“Fine, I’ll bite.” She said, looking up, “who has a crush on me?”

“I’ll give you a hint.” He said, “you should take her car when you go out, you’ll get all the best parking spots.”

Her car?” Cuddy’s eyebrows went up. “Best-” She mentally ran through all the female staff in the hospital who had handicapped parking stickers (or Hummers to run over other cars and park on them, but no one currently employed at the hospital drove a hummer) There was Jennifer Alex in pediatrics who had one of those pregnant mothers/mother of small children badges, but it couldn’t be her (was she still on maternity leave? Cuddy thought so). “Whitner?”

“Damn, you’re too good at these games.”

“It’s Whitner?” It had been a stab in the dark, but she had thought she was flirting with her the last time they’d talked, but dismissed it.

“Maybe you’re less good than I originally thought…”

“Wait… wait, I know what this is. You’re just trying to throw me off to get out of your clinic duty. Well, it isn’t going to work.” She said stubbornly.

“Not this time, Cuddles.” He grinned.

“Dr. Cuddy?” Her assistant poked his head in. “Dr. Whitner to see you?”

She looked to House and he winked. Cuddy looked back to her assistant and nodded, “yes, alright, send her in, please.”

Whitner wheeled in and looked at House, “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

“House was just leaving to do his clinic duty.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“You are now.”

“Not on your life.”

“Would you just get out?”

“Do you hear how she talks to me?” He addressed Whitner on his way out the door.

“How can I help you, Dr. Whitner?” Cuddy asked, reseating herself at her desk.

Whitner wheeled up to Cuddy’s desk. “Dr. Cuddy…” She started, “I was wondering if you would…”

She is going to ask me out… Cuddy thought dumbly.

“Look over a report that I’ve just written and approve it for a study.” She blurted, suddenly struck with a fear of being turned down.

“Oh, yes, if you bring me the report I’d be glad to look it over.” Cuddy smiled, “is that all?”

“Yes.” Whitner put her hand on the wheel and turned to leave. “No… actually….”

Oh my god…

“Would you go out to dinner with me sometime?”

“Yes.” The word was out of her mouth so quickly she thought for a second she hadn’t said it out loud.

Whitner’s face lit up. “Excellent.” She smiled hugely. “How about.. tomorrow night? I know this little Italian restaurant that just opened up near my house.”

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Okay.” Whitner smiled, “okay. I’ll see you tomorrow!”


Wilson and House watched Whitner leaving Cuddy’s office with an indelible grin on her face.

“She’s… smiling.” House said.

“Cuddy said yes?”

“Cuddy said yes!”

Day Two

Cuddy lifted the wine glass to her lips. Am I shaking? She watched her hand and didn’t seem to notice a shake, but she watched it more intently.

“Are you ok?” Whitner asked.

Cuddy jumped, startled. “Oh, me, I’m-um-I’m… yeah, I’m fine.”

“You seem nervous.” (Cuddy shrugged) “Is there anything I can do to help put you at ease?”

“The wine’s a good start.” Cuddy smiled.

Whitner smiled back, “one of the things I like about this restaurant is their Pinot Grigio. I’m not much of a wine person, but it’s really excellent.”

Cuddy nodded and sipped the wine again.

“I get the feeling you don’t really want to be here.” Whitner said glumly, “is it something I did?”

“No…” she shook her head, “I’ve just never… I… I don’t bat for your team.”

“Ah.” Whitner nodded.

“I’m sorry, Julie, I sort of got caught up in the moment when you asked me to go out with you. House had come in and told me you were going to ask and then you came in and I was caught off guard anyway and… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Whitner smiled easily. “But I’d still enjoy your company and I’d really like it if you’d still stay for dinner.”

Cuddy nodded and smiled slowly, “ok, alright, yeah, I’d like that.”

Two thirds of a bottle of wine later the two women were laughing and smiling over cleaned plates of chicken parmesan and three-cheese penne pasta.

“You did not!” Whitner laughed, watching Cuddy with almost awe and fascination.

“I did.” Cuddy grinned, hiding her eyes with playful embarrassment, “a bet’s a bet, right?”

“The entire length of the campus?”

“Yeah, just about, until my legs wouldn’t hold me. They were following me in the car and when I got tired they let me in and gave me back my clothes.”

“And campus security didn’t care?”

“Campus security launched a short investigation of the naked girl running through campus but they dropped it because I didn’t do it again and I didn’t hurt anybody by doing it.”

“They never knew it was you?”

She shook her head with a laugh. “That’s the extent of my criminal record.”

“I was arrested at a protest once, three-mile island protesting nuclear power. Some asshole had brought a concealed weapon, he wasn’t using it, but then the police found it and used it as an excuse to run us all in.”

“More wine?” Cuddy lifted the bottle to her glass.

“Oh, sure.” Whitner smiled.

“Three-mile island? That’s intense,” Cuddy poured the wine into Whitner’s glass and then finished off the wine in her own glass.

Whitner drove her home after dinner, they’d taken her car to the restaurant. Whitner stopped in the driveway, “it sort of doesn’t make sense for me to get out.”

Cuddy got out of the car and walked around the front. Julie smiled at her through the open car window. Cuddy smiled back, “thanks. I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too.”

Cuddy leaned down and kissed Whitner softly. Whitner stared up at her, too stunned to react.

“Same time tomorrow?” Cuddy smiled.

To be continued...


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